🐰Day 7: Our Last Day in Benidorm💜

One last day in a place filled with memories of Millie 🌹

Day 7. Our last full day in Benidorm.

And honestly, today has been a day of so many mixed emotions.

There has been laughter.

There have been smiles.

There have been little moments of normality.

But underneath it all has been the knowledge that tomorrow morning, we're turning the car around and beginning the long journey home.

And somehow, knowing that has made today feel very different.

🛍️ One last wander around Benidorm

We started the day with a wander around the market.

It was lovely to just take our time, look around the stalls and pick up a few little gifts for everyone back home.

There are so many people who have helped make this journey possible by looking after things at home while we've been away, including looking after our house and our dogs.

Knowing everything was being looked after gave us one less thing to worry about while we were travelling.

So today we wanted to find a few little things to bring home as a thank you.

Nothing huge.

Just little reminders that we were thinking about everyone while we were away. ❤️

It was nice to have a relatively normal morning.

Walking around.

Looking at things.

Having a laugh.

Enjoying being somewhere warm.

But even during the ordinary moments, there was always that little thought sitting in the back of my mind:

Tomorrow we leave.

🏖️ Makayla's beach challenge

We then took Makayla down to the beach so she could complete one of her challenges.

The beach was beautiful.

The sea was calm.

The sun was shining.

And for a moment, I just stood there looking around.

And then the memories came flooding back.

Millie.

Four years ago, she was here.

Right here.

On this beach.

Enjoying the sunshine.

Making memories.

Being her happy, bubbly little self.

It feels strange standing in the same place now.

The scenery is familiar.

The sea is still there.

The beach is still there.

But everything feels completely different.

Because the little girl who made these places so special isn't physically standing beside us anymore.

💔 Four years later

So much of this trip has involved revisiting places we went to with Millie in 2022.

At the time, they were simply holiday memories.

We were having fun.

We were exploring.

We were taking photographs.

We were enjoying our time together as a family.

We didn't know that four years later, those memories would become something we would hold onto so tightly.

We didn't know how important those photographs would become.

We didn't know that one day we'd return to the same places and feel her absence so strongly.

But we did.

And today, standing on that beach with Makayla, I couldn't help but think about the last time we were there with Millie.

I could almost picture her.

I could imagine her walking along the beach.

I could imagine her excitement.

And I could hear her voice in my head.

That is one of the strange things about grief.

Sometimes someone can be physically absent but feel so incredibly present in your mind.

🐰 Buddy has been here too

Of course, Buddy has been with us throughout all of this. 🐰💜

Buddy has travelled every single mile of this journey.

And knowing that Millie's mini urn is safely inside Buddy has brought me so much comfort.

It means that while we're visiting these places, a little part of my girl is actually here.

She has travelled with us through France.

She has crossed the Pyrenees.

She has travelled into Spain.

She has arrived in Benidorm.

And now she has been back to so many of the places she visited herself.

It's almost as though Buddy is retracing Millie's footsteps.

Only this time, we're doing it without her.

🍽️ A Sunday dinner in Spain

We also had something quite special today.

Our first proper British Sunday dinner in Spain since Millie passed away. 🇬🇧🇪🇸❤️

It might sound like such an ordinary thing.

A Sunday dinner.

But sometimes it's the ordinary things that become the most meaningful.

We sat down together, ate, chatted and tried to enjoy the moment.

And, of course, we somehow managed to find a Lidl. 😂

Because apparently you can travel all the way to Spain and still end up wandering around Lidl!

It gave us a bit of a laugh.

And after such an emotional week, those little moments of normality have been important.

🃏 Laughing with Makayla

This evening we played card games with Makayla.

There was plenty of laughing, plenty of silliness and probably a little bit of cheating accusations thrown into the mix! 😂

Those moments were lovely.

Because although this journey has been incredibly emotional, it hasn't all been sadness.

There have been moments of genuine happiness.

Moments where we have laughed until our stomachs hurt.

Moments where we've forgotten for a few minutes how tired we are.

Moments where we've simply enjoyed being together.

And I think that's important too.

Millie wouldn't want every memory of this journey to be about sadness.

She loved fun.

She loved laughter.

She loved adventures.

So we're going to keep making those moments too.

🌴 Our final evening in Benidorm

As the evening came around, there was a strange feeling in the air.

Our final evening.

Tomorrow everything gets packed away.

The bags go back into the car.

Buddy gets settled in.

The doors close.

And we start driving north again.

Back towards the UK.

Back towards home.

Part of me wishes we could stay here just a little longer.

Not because I don't want to go home.

I do.

There are people and animals waiting for us.

There's our own bed.

Our own home.

Our normal routines.

But being here has given me something I didn't realise I needed.

It has given me the opportunity to feel close to Millie again.

🌹 Walking in her footsteps

Over the last few days, I've walked streets Millie walked.

I've stood in places where she stood.

I've looked at views she saw.

I've visited places she enjoyed.

I've eaten things she loved.

I've remembered things I hadn't thought about for a long time.

And I've carried her with me through all of it.

There have been moments where I've stopped and thought:

"I wish you were here, Moo."

So many times.

I wish she could have seen the mountains.

I wish she could have travelled through the tunnels.

I wish she could have come back to Benidorm.

I wish she could have made new memories here.

I wish I could hear her laugh again.

But although she isn't physically here...

She has been here.

Every mile.

Every memory.

Every photograph.

Every conversation.

Every tear.

Every smile.

Every little moment where we said:

"Millie would have loved this."

💜 Time to turn around

And now comes the part I've been trying not to think about.

It's time to leave.

Tomorrow morning, Buddy turns around.

The journey that took us from the UK to Spain becomes the journey home.

🇪🇸 ➡️ 🇫🇷 ➡️ 🇬🇧

One more long drive.

One more adventure.

More roads to travel.

More memories to make.

And another chapter in Buddy's Journey.

But this time, we're heading home with something we didn't have when we left.

A whole collection of new memories.

New photographs.

New stories.

And even more moments that remind us of our beautiful girl.

🐰 Buddy's Journey continues

Day 7 is complete.

Our time in Benidorm has come to an end.

But Buddy's Journey isn't over yet.

Tomorrow, we start the journey home.

There will be more roads.

More countries.

More stops.

More tired faces.

Probably more snacks. 😂

And undoubtedly more emotions.

Because this journey has never just been about getting from one place to another.

It's been about Millie.

About remembering her.

About carrying her with us.

About revisiting the places that made her happy.

About keeping her memory alive.

And about creating new memories while holding tightly to the old ones.

My beautiful girl...

I hope you know how much you are loved.

I hope somehow you know that you have been with us every single mile.

And I hope that wherever you are, you know that Mammy hasn't stopped carrying you.

You are forever my girl.

Forever 9.

Forever my Millie Rose. 🌹💜

Tomorrow, Buddy turns around and begins the long journey home.

But no matter how many miles we travel...

I will always carry you with me. 🐰💜